The question has come up a couple of times as to how long I think I can write this column. It’s a little cheeky but I’ll answer it: who knows?
I like to stay busy, I like to write these articles, and I hope they’re having an impact on somebody - at least my older friends. I know some of you have never liked poems - been told that too - but that’s how I get my thoughts out. So, read the poem and I think it will explain the answer.
Another question that’s been asked is: what do all you old guys do every morning in your office? Answer: We debate almost any topic but I restrict a few (politics - too divisive), but mostly we drink coffee and try to figure out how to use our cellphones. We have a young guy (70) who comes in and helps us.
Question 3: Who was the most impactful person in your life? You’ve probably figured out it was my dad. Pa died at 45 but his lessons left an indelible impression on me. The one person I always wanted to impress. Many of my poems are based on what he told me.
Question 4: Why do you play golf so much? Simple answer: I like it and the people I play with. If we can’t do what we enjoy at 81 - then when?
Final question for today: I’m often questioned as to why I still go to Planet Fitness at this age and why I’m so careful with my diet? Answer (in question form): How many fat 90-year-olds do you see around?
I’d like to still be around doing all these things at 90 so I’m trying. I don’t want to be the guy lying in the hospital, taking his last breath and thinking - I should have taken better care of myself. Or - be like Mickey Mantle, who famously said, “If I knew I was going to live this long I’d have taken better care of myself.”
We don’t have to give up the things we like, we just have to have some common sense and self-awareness. Enjoy your life but be sensible. It’s not so hard.
Poem this week is:
Writing and Fighting
I waddle when I walk, lose my breath when I talk,
And can’t remember one damn thing.
My memory’s shot, and I’ve got a little pot
And I know I’m not a breath of spring.
There’s no shine in my eyes, unless you count the styes,
‘Cause I’ve seen it all and even more.
The only run I do is when my dinner’s through
And I speed through the bathroom door.
There are sags in my shoulder as I’ve gotten a bit older,
And the mem’ries at my heart strings tug.
I sort of drag my knuckles and I’ve loosened all my buckles,
And my jowls droop like J. Fred Muggs.
Friends have been leaving and for that I’ve been grieving,
So, I’ve had to find a younger set.
They call me “old Peep,” but for that I’ll lose no sleep,
Cause I don’t think I’ll be leaving yet.
It’s a damn crazy world as it’s spun around and twirled,
And the people that I see get stranger.
But I’m a lot brighter as the flame leaves my lighter,
And I walk away from trouble and danger.
There’s a lot can be said for just keeping your head
When your age is from eight to 81.
When you’re past that range you can be a little strange,
Cause everybody thinks you’re done.
I’ll tell you right now, and I’ll take a little bow,
That I’ve learned a lot of things, you know?
I’m not leaving in haste; it seems a shame to waste
What I’ve learned, when it’s time to go.
So, stick with me, folks and I’ll tell you some jokes,
And maybe just a fact, or two.
I’ll be here just writing till I end my earthly fighting,
‘Cause I’ve still got lots of things to do.
JDF 10/22
Joke: The old guy pulled into the mall parking lot and partly rolled down the windows so his lab puppy would get some fresh air. She was stretched out on the back seat. He started backing toward the curb and started pointing at the car and repeating, “Stay, you stay there” to impress upon the dog the commands. When he said, “You stay, do you hear me?” a nearby blonde asked, “Why don’t you just put it in park?”
Favorite one-liners:
• Of course I talk to myself. Sometimes I need some good advice.
• “Everything I can’t find is in a nice, safe place - somewhere.
Guess I’ve used up my space.
See you next week! JDF
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2022-10-23 14:30:00Z
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